Worthiness

 

 

 Chapter excerpt from EARTH SCHOOL: A Fresh Perspective on the Human Condition by Moriah Marston ©2006

I wonder how my life would change if I could fully release all levels of unworthiness. Many of us struggle with false beliefs like, “I’m not enough.” “I don’t deserve more.” “I should settle for less.” We may compensate for this deep sense of unworthiness through grandiosity and ego-inflation. Delusions of superiority are empty puff bubbles - feeble attempts to buffer a devastating sense of inferiority that relentlessly insists that we are not up to the task of whatever is expected of us from others, our Higher Self and God.

 Unworthiness, like a silent cancer infiltrating our thoughts, feelings and spirit, ultimately eats away at our birthright of self-acceptance, magnitude, abundance, unlimited joyful expression and success on every level. Consequently, we give ourselves away too easily, assuming that we should grab what we can because we don’t deserve the best. We sell our souls for security or a quick fix to stave off the inevitable hunger that arises from depriving ourselves of the genuine recognition of our unalterable core value—the essential gold within us.

  If we all truly perceived the limitless value of that gold, we would surge forth to deliver denied gifts, releasing a glut of pent-up energy. Our worth, then in full dominion over our lives, would display our value like gemstones of the soul sparkling in the light of an awakening consciousness. We would truly behold the full caliber of our worth in all of its glory, releasing all hesitation as we confidently step forward into our potential—our magnificence.

 When I first consciously connected with the Tibetan in this lifetime, he informed me that my biggest stumbling block was unworthiness. Eighteen years later, I’m still working on this issue. How do we actually establish a sense of profound value—really experience our worthiness? The sticky web of lies proclaiming self to be shabby, wretchedly flawed and mediocre corrupts our ability to attune to the treasure of our being, an excellence that merits all good things to come our way.

 Djwhal Khul’s invitation to be his channel was a glorious assignment to “live up to” a higher calling from an Ascended Master. Fear of this heightened responsibility as well as chronic long-term unworthiness surfaced in response to the Tibetan’s proposal of ambassadorship. So began the arduous process of trying to force myself into believing that, just maybe, I had a shred of value that could be cultivated to produce fertile soil on which to offer this gift of channeling. Mostly, I just wanted to hide in dread of the inevitable humiliation in front of others who would surely know how unworthy I was of this important assignment.

 Trying not to feel like a fraud, I was afraid to be taken as an impostor ... afraid people would detect my “not enoughness.” I had to resist the impulse to recede. Struggling to try to step into shoes that seemed way too big for little ol’ me, I was shocked when others applauded my work. Every gesture of appreciation stimulated a healing crisis as, with true humility, I bravely battled to move forward into my greatness. My struggle is something everyone faces because indeed we all have outstanding treasures that we are challenged to accept.

Slowly the web of unworthiness began to shred as I tentatively inched my toes into the Blessed Waters of Deservedness. I still dance with the devil when it comes to totally believing in my value. But the voices of denigration, belittlement and condemnation have lost quite a bit of steam. Their seduction fades like a distant movie that used to be a way of life. Uncompromising, the Universe keeps raising the bar higher for me to climb into greater and greater “shoes” of magnitude and to believe that they actually fit! I am forever grateful to the Tibetan for this opportunity to at long last break the unworthiness spell that has imprisoned my soul for lifetimes.

When clinging to unworthiness in order to hide our Light and resist the spiritual responsibility that requires our display of significance (the offering of magnificence that demonstrates the inherent treasure—divinity in form—that is the human condition) we often protest, “I couldn’t possibly do that, have that, be that!” The more we all dare to expose our worthiness to ourselves and each other, the more everyone recognizes the divine permission to claim their particular specialty of non-rescindable cosmic value.

To leave our “unworthiness comfort zone” is to expose our profuse quality of being to others whose judgment might rear its ugly head. “How dare we!” They unconsciously prey off our unworthiness to support their own heavy investment in the collective agreement that there is only so much we can do with ourselves as damaged goods.

Fearful, we capitulate, give up too easily, and believe in our inferiority. We assume that we’ll be more popular if we hide the full extent of our deservedness. Why be a target for jealousy, anger, envy and competitiveness by others easily threatened by our quality? So we sentence ourselves to lowly positions of scarcity, failure, lack of fulfillment in order to be compliant with everyone else’s illusion. What a price to pay to be part of a human tribe terribly handicapped by a profound sense of spiritual inferiority. If we expose our value at all, we fear being hunted down like an animal, destroyed for the nerve of allowing ourselves to embrace the fact that we are truly priceless beings of profound significance to each other and to the Divine Plan.

 Many of us are tired of resisting the full expression of our soul-jewel, with all of its rich bounty and spiritual holdings. I, as well as countless others, have spent lifetimes brainwashing myself to believe that I am a trivial, meaningless, inconsequential, measly, paltry being who has only mere crumbs to offer this world—and of course, should expect no more for herself. Perhaps we believe that we deserve less because we must have committed horrible acts in past lives. We often assume that our wounds/traumas from childhood/past lives are the definitive statements of our unworthiness.

Can we finally discern the lie in the perceived need to live a second-rate existence? Ironically, this hard karmic stuff is simply part of a large learning curve designed to refine our consciousness, just as the jeweler brings out the facets in a diamond. Even in the rough, a diamond is still a diamond!

When we attempt to override/deny our unworthiness wounds, we run the risk of grandiosity. Unconsciously we project our valueless-ness onto others. From this platform of superiority, we disdain people we deem inferior to ourselves, ironically feeding our disowned impoverishment. Eventually we must fall from this empty pedestal to encounter our own wound of inadequacy. The “fall” opens us into the rich process of claiming the precious internal gold that resides within the earthly crevices of our soul. From this place of true enrichment we cannot help but recognize the worthiness in others, which instantly charges them to “go the distance” into their deservedness.

 When we “step ourselves down,” we are unconsciously directing creative energy into the undermining force of the inner saboteur who relentlessly reminds us that we dare not touch the success that powers and expresses our deservedness. The more we deny our worthiness, the more potently this unconscious energy works at pulling the rug out from under us. The tyranny of the saboteur dictates that we accept a diminished, frustrated, misrepresented life on planet earth as victims and failures.

Deeply indoctrinated, we become convinced that we are less than others and God. To claim our magnitude seems like a sacrilege. Unworthiness convinces us to stay in unpleasant, abusive, starvation situations too long because we assume that's all we deserve. We become blind to the subtle manifestations of unworthiness that shrink our lives into smaller and smaller islands of self-diminishment and impossibility. We assume that this is the way life is.

 

Our challenge is to be vigilantly watchful of this automatic programming that takes over and pushes away relationships, employment, material prosperity and/or spiritual, mental, emotional opportunities offered to us from the Divine Platter of Abundance because we’re too “second-rate” to claim our spiritual due. 

Eventually we comprehend that we are not destined to be Source’s whipping post. There is NO spiritual mandate to cheapen and underrate ourselves. How can we possibility respond to the profound spiritual opportunities available to us during this time of accelerated energy if we are too shy to step forward through the many initiations available to us now at this time in human history?

 Life keeps giving us chance after chance to feel good about ourselves. We must stay awake to the multitude of opportunities available to demonstrate our deservedness to ourselves and others. This is the basis for our next great evolutionary leap into possibility.

 Smiling, the Tibetan shows me an image of the common ground that unites us all through horizontal rather than vertical alignment, indicating that ultimately we are all equal, however differentiated, treasures of the Divine. He teaches:

 Worthiness is everyone’s birthright. To have the opportunity to incarnate on planet earth is a statement of this deservedness. In order for students to collectively pass through the Portal of Inter-dimensional Shift, they have to feel worthy enough to step into a greater reality which mirrors their glorious majesty—profound merit never known in this or previous lifetimes. They must stretch into an expanded perspective and look into the Great Vault of Breathtaking Value that is their divine root.

 

For centuries humankind has been blind to its innate value. This distortion in perception originated from religious doctrines that, in efforts to induce humility and break down the ego, encouraged humankind to perceive itself as unworthy of its Creator. Today many students, after lifetimes of exposure to these false beliefs, are deeply convinced at a cellular level that they are hopelessly inferior beings, non-deserving of the great spiritual fortune that earthly life, the human condition, offers.

 Believing that they don’t deserve “heaven on earth,” students push away what is truly possible and opt for sparseness and deprivation. They rationalize this lack of fulfillment, under-supply, scarcity with the false belief that self-deprivation will bring them closer to God. This connects to the false belief that humankind must stay in its place and not hope to expand beyond.

 Does self ever dare to ask the question, “Do I deserve more in my life?” However nobly determined to be positive, underpinnings of guilt surface for even considering the question. How dare self want more! The collective wound of undeserved-ness causes humankind to hang its head in shame for even dreaming of an earthly life that would reflect a level of lavish joy way beyond what the “lowly” human condition should deserve.

 Consequently, many students stop far short of their potential. Uncertain that it is “permitted” to open their receptivity valve or to expect the best, they refuse to envision great possibility, fruition, success, love because their imaginal muscle is stunted by lifetimes of supposed spiritually-mandated scarcity, often resulting in the opposite of true humility - humiliation. Every time that students attempt to open to full alignment with their Higher Self and Source, an instinctive unconscious alarm like an electric fence repels them back into themselves in shame and unworthiness. This drops them to their knees.

 However, in the effort to tame the ego, ward off arrogance and control, humankind has thrown the baby out with the bath water and reduced its sense of value by 98%! Students have been taught to say, “I am not worthy of God” and therefore I do not deserve my own enlightenment and full union with my Higher Self.

 From the Masters’ vantage point, humankind stands before a colossal banquet table with an overflowing cornucopia of treasures. Students timidly stand there with their hands clasped, fearful of reaching out and partaking of this bounty. They convince themselves that they are not worthy of such rewards and refrain from claiming what is rightfully theirs (regardless of their imperfections). So they wait for the day when they will be given permission to go beyond unworthiness. Some wait for lifetimes.

 Today is the day to release all self-devaluing thinking and to accept one’s divine Stature of Goodness. Remember that no one is innately flawed. No one need see themselves as inconsequential, shoddy or useless.

 When students rightfully claim their full worth, then they are able to thoroughly avail themselves of the spiritual/earthly bounty that supports their soul’s journey into full liberation. This allows them to fully register the value of their gifts and to offer these gifts with complete confidence. Then no one will hesitate at the Gates of Initiation, subjugating themselves to a false sense of inferiority. Rather, all will audaciously stride forward in full assurance and declaration of their deservedness. There will be no holding back. The crimes of instilled unworthiness will cease.

 All of humankind will then experience the Paradise of Treasures that honors the value, the Cosmic Bank Account of Worth, deeply established in the souls of all beings. Bask in the Heavenly Applause that acclaims salutes and honors the stellar Divine Quality of Excellence that fills all beings within this Universe and greater Universes.

 

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