Deepening our Connections: Cultivating Meaningful Soul Based Relationships


 by Moriah Marston  Earth School: A Fresh Perspective on the Human Condition copyright 2006

What would it be like for our hearts to be deeply linked and to mutually experience each other’s fully expressed essence? The rapidly emerging paradigm calls us to unite as one human being. Our interconnections are now under tremendous evolutionary pressure.

Collectively we’re shifting into soul-based living. This has a dramatic effect on all relationships. Whether we’re friends, family, lovers, employer/employee, acquaintances, colleagues, teacher/students, we’re becoming soulmates to each other. Consequently, familiar social patterns of superficiality need to be released. Attempts to mask our true self by putting on a happy face, pretending to be civil or nice probably feel particularly empty and painful at this time. We’re used to fleeting gestures of shallow togetherness that may momentarily warm the heart but rarely touch the soul. Most relationship dynamics are laced with the poisons of inhibition, miscommunication, abandonment, betrayal, misunderstanding, rejection and projection.

 Deep inside many of us feel an unbearable aloneness experienced throughout our earthly incarnations. Malnourishment from mere tendrils of connection that left our soul out in the cold produced bleeding wounds of icy isolation. We struggle to feed on morsels of relatedness usually based on shoulds/ obligations, pretense, defensiveness, fear and denial of self. It’s time to release false beliefs that declare the inevitability of human loneliness. We can no longer take refuge in being a misunderstood lone wolf steeped in the existential pain of self-inflicted banishment.

To embrace the new consciousness it’s essential to recognize our relatedness to each other as the Gateway into ultimate freedom. We must establish communion by shedding stockpiles of past life agonies from being hurt by others and the assumption that relationships inevitably lead to loss of self. This requires the dismantling of the wall of false beliefs proclaiming the impossibility of giving/receiving love while still being true to oneself. Relationships are divinely orchestrated to unveil and augment our sense of self. 

Group awakening through meaningful soul-based relationships makes the shift in consciousness attainable. To be part of the community that ushers us though the Gateway, we’ve got to plunge into the alchemical container of human concert. Now, divinely charged to catalyze inter-mutual enlightenment, we NEED each other more than ever. To embrace this need is a crucial step for opening our hearts, minds and spirits to each other. Although difficult to swallow for people who take pride in insulated self-sufficiency, obstinate identities as singular, separate beings must be released.

Ironically, the first step in deepening our connections is to declare a fierce loyalty to our individuality. Through this we discover our unique souls and openly share them in mutual support, exploration and love. Although honing one’s uniqueness is historically associated with risk of group exile, it’s actually the CONNECTING link to cherished relationships that, holding the mirror of compassionate acceptance, inspire our becoming process.

There’s no hiding behind obsolete self-preservation patterns of being concealed/ undeclared. We now venture forth nakedly, like the transparent and receptive magical child who trusts his/her birthright of inclusion. This level of shared vulnerability generates miraculous results. We’re buoyed by authenticity and the wonder of receiving others’ love and acceptance for our true selves. Free to learn about the nature of love, all barriers melt away as the need for protective masks becomes a thing of the past. Adamant refusal to be manipulated into hiding or shame-based secrecy augments personal freedom. We stretch out with compassionate self-assertion and the determination to live in our authentic core.

The essential ingredients needed to deepen our connections into soul communion are: 1)honesty and transparency—releasing secrecy—not holding back; 2) clear communication of feelings; 3) courage to speak our truth (with sensitivity to timing) even if it seems to be a bad idea; 4) self-examination, including tracking back to childhood/past lives, to own the roots of all issues rather than making the current relationship the sole cause of these difficulties and therefore responsible for the past; 5) withdrawal of projection; 6) holding space for the other without judgment or assuming what’s best;7) desire to know the other’s reality, heart and soul; 8) being vulnerable; 9) the humility to renounce the pride that blocks us from revealing and asking for needs to be met; 10) interest in the other’s needs; 11) immediate surrender of defenses when confronted—not wasting time/energy skirting the real issues and postponing inevitable work;12) renouncement of self-betrayal—patterns of hiding, muting, self-sacrifice; 13) willingness to examine inner twinges/emotional reactions without judging them as nonsense and honoring the underlying hurts/needs by bringing them openly to the relationship; 14) compassionate patience with each other’s’ wounds; 15) gratitude for the other and the expression of these good thoughts/feelings; 16) to perceive loved ones with fresh eyes because today’s accelerated change is rendering us brand new from moment to moment!

The new paradigm calls for deepening relationships that act as conduits for souls to unite in love. This level of relationship lowers barriers and helps us to realize we can be cherished for who we are including vulnerabilities, shadows, fears and needs. Apprehensive of losing the other if we reveal ourselves, ironically we actually become closer.  Soul-based relationships allow us to discover/celebrate all parts of ourselves and experience freedom from inhibiting defenses. We dance together unreservedly in the Light of shared acceptance of the human process and faith in our inevitable wholeness. Full disclosure with others augments rather than diminishes. Showered with support, community and fellowship, we hold hands through the Gateway, grateful for the kindred spirits who galvanize our soul’s journey in the most loving and devoted of ways.

Brilliant cords of Light and Love connect the Tibetan in spirited relationship to fellow Masters and beloved students. He teaches:

Soul-based relationships are vital evolutionary tools. Humankind is being called to step on the Path of Responsibility in Relationship. This gives the soul an opportunity to practice Divine Love through the mutual celebration of sharing the journey of spirit through the human condition. A space then opens between individuals that holds, values and honors the Great Process that liberates the soul from crushing wounds of isolation and lovelessness. To share the vulnerability of rich emotions is an integral part of embracing humanness—the great benefactor of the soul’s evolution.

It’s impossible to avoid the responsibility of relatedness. Students are often tempted to push others away with judgment and disdain—as if superiority could protect self from hurt.  But the pain stimulated through relationship serves the soul by revealing karmic injuries in need of loving attention. The people self has known in previous lives have agreed to come forward in this incarnation to open doors for healing by playing out roles that will reveal old wounds. Maintaining an overall soul perspective on the agreement to be together through these karmic storms feeds the staying power that prevents a judgmental and fear-filled severing of the relationship.

Because all significant relationships originate in past lives, why not explore the karmic reasons why self and the other have agreed to reunite again. What are the assignments—patterns needing healing and transformation? Refine the art of discerning who has come to benefit self’s evolution versus others who aren’t a good fit for the soul in this incarnation. To chase after the latter (magnetized by subliminal memories) either reenacts obsolete patterns of disconnect, rejection, judgment, unworthiness and loneliness or revisits already completed assignments. Despite magnetic recollections, these old connections lack a current excitation that represents this incarnation’s learning curve. It’s OK to release these people—guilt-free! 

Self isn’t required to carry all previously known companions and intimates through the new consciousness threshold, even when past-life beloveds are currently incarnated within self’s environment. The immediacy of collective awakening spotlights the importance of the present moment. It’s inefficient to waste energy attempting to revive historic relationship based on nostalgia. Rather than struggling to get through to others less resonant with today’s soul’s agenda, honor them with love and move on. Direct energy into the vitally compelling connections, even if they feel unpredictable. 

Telltale signs of souls who have agreed to walk through the threshold together are: 1) a strong fresh magnetic pull; 2) a sense of shared assignments and mutual teaching; 3) an even balance of  power without struggle or dominance/submissiveness; 4) plenty of space for each individual’s magnitude; 5) mutual recognition of each other’s soul and expanding horizons; 6) being deeply seen, validated and appreciated  by the other; 7) recognizing the relationship as a powerful vehicle for movement into excellence. These soul partners call forth and inspire, through focused inquiry, the expression of self’s inner life, normally muted through shyness/introversion in dynamics with others less compatible.

Soul-based relationships have an innate glue—the willingness to stay connected during difficult blackening stages of alchemy. Both people are equally committed to hold together through storms of obstacles, difficulties and confusion karmically catalyzed by the relationship. Ultimately these relationships bring self enhancement, expansion, healing, inspiration, encouragement. Self feels valued, heard, validated and unconditionally loved which renders obsolete old relationships filled with judgment, diminishment, repression and a painful sense of impossibility in one’s efforts to reach the other’s soul. Relationships based in the new paradigm are designed to enhance the Universal Flow through the heart chakra. Souls merge together into the new consciousness ecstatic to share the great cosmic tide of love flowing forth, filled with gratitude for the stupendous opportunity to mutually enlighten each other through extraordinary connection.” 

copyright©2010, School of the Golden Discs

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