*From the HEART of Zayne: EULOGY TO GREAT BEING
A LOVE Story
Delivered at her Celebration of Life Ceremony, April 18, 2015
Shelburne-Buckland Community Center, Shelburne Falls, MA
HOW IT ALL BEGAN
I remember that night distinctly. It was February of 1991. I was living in Montague Center, MA at the time. It was about 2:OO am and I couldn’t sleep. Something drew me to the window facing Main Street. I noticed a woman walking under a streetlight with an unleashed German Shepherd by her side. Her hair was wild and curly—afro-like. I studied her intently as she disappeared around the corner.
It left me wondering; who was this mysterious creature of the night, walking with her familia when everyone sleeps? I also wondered what drew me to the window in my restless state at that very moment.
Well, about a month later a woman called, responding to an ad-flyer, LOSE WEIGHT, GAIN ENERGY I had pinned to the post office bulletin board. She wanted to purchase my product! (the only person that ever responded to my ad, by the way). During our lively conversation I was struck how we couldn’t stop talking. There was an uncanny resonance—like I knew her.
When she finally dropped by the house, to my amazement she turned out to be the person that was walking that late winter evening. My goodness! I felt in that moment that Destiny knocked on my door. To make a long story short, we married exactly 23 years ago today!!! And what a journey it’s been…
To be wedded to Moriah was like hopping on a fast moving train that doesn’t stop for stations. No time to catch my breath. Just be in the moment was the only way to manage the velocity of our soul trajectory. We titled our marriage. “Two fools on a foolhardy quest for mystical union.” And so it began…
Birth of a Mystery School
It was not too long after we met that Moriah told me she wanted to start a Mystery School of applied metaphysics—a multi-dimensional approach, where magic really happens! She even had a name—the School of the Golden Discs—based on a vision she had received at the Oracle of Delphi in Greece during a quest to participate in a re-enactment of the Eleusinian Mysteries. What she saw in her vision was a woman holding two yarrow stalks and spinning golden discs that were balanced on the tips of the stalks. The school’s curriculum would be based on the contemporary spiritual and metaphysical teachings of Ascended Master Djwhal Khul, for whom she was a channel.
Unfamiliar with channeling per se, I was very interested in meeting this Ascended Master from the spirit plane. Moriah said to wait a couple of months—she wanted me to like her for who she was first, rather than the Being she represented.
And so it happened one warm spring day in her studio—she delivered a one-on-one, full-blown, channeled reading. Suffice to say, it blew me away. I was riveted. Floored. The loving, spiritual energy that came through was unmistakably real and powerful. The profound insights poured through like a fast moving Waterfall of Wisdom, giving me a fascinating perspective on my soul’s history, why I was born into my blood family, belief systems I needed to release—genius off the charts.
I found my head nodding in agreement when he invited me to commit to my soul’s evolution and work with him. According to the Tibetan, we had known each other in previous lifetimes. He felt so familiar and there was a strong resonance between us. As his energy receded following the hour-long session, I wept tears of joy. Search over. I found my teacher!
Moriah then asked me if I would join with her intention and work with this High Master known as the “Great Psychologist” who helps guide the evolution of consciousness for humankind. Although I was “new” to this, I practically jumped out of the chair with an ecstatically charged, YES! I liked adventure and apparently, so did she—a perfect match indeed.
So our life began and within a year of conducting weekly groups called Chats with the Tibetan we offered our first 9-month Core program designed primarily to release obsolete belief systems to liberate the soul and evolve our consciousness. We were off and running…
So here it is, 24 years later. The School has generated a remarkable Body of Thought—volumes of written and recorded teachings related to the New Consciousness. Through the guidance of our dear headmaster, Master Djwhal Khul, we have held many seminars and countless classes.
We eventually made the bold, seemingly insane act of risking solvency and marital harmony through building a house and school, all under one roof in the most beautiful of locations. It was there that we celebrated seven incredibly joyful years of our lives together and shared the setting with our community. For this opportunity, I am forever grateful.
Qualities and Perceptions of Moriah
But back to Moriah. What I want to say is that to bear witness to her great being for all this time as her partner, lover, co-conspirator, playmate, student, and teacher, has been the most beautiful and extraordinary experience imaginable. It’s next to impossible to fully language this multi-dimensional soul, but here’s a taste.
Ambassador of Joy, Light & Love
Moriah, was a true ambassador of Joy and Light and has left a legacy of Love to us all. Her intense presence and vibrancy; her perennial joy and smile; her brilliant mind and staggering insights into what’s real, her uncanny ability to see specialness in others, always encouraging them to go the distance to bring their unique gift to the planet—without compromise—no half stepping; her courage and willingness to take risks, defy the conventional and challenge the status quo; her ability to deliver truth in a tender, sensitive yet penetrating way; her tenacious ferocity in manifesting vision; her gratitude, her empathy, her capacity to truly Love in a very deep way…
Authenticity and Truthsayer
She was authentic to the bone, a transformative agent, confronting at times—a truthsayer; always delivering the message in a constructive, sensitive, yet penetrating and persistent manner, though never hurtful—except maybe to the false ego that didn’t serve the soul. The goal was only to gain better understanding so that change, if necessary, could happen to enhance the relationship and understanding toward each other. In fact, one of our wedding vows was “to risk disharmony by speaking our truth.”
So don’t let her happy demeanor fool you. Moriah could shift rapidly into a penetrating challenge of inquiry if she sensed that a troubling issue needed to be addressed or felt that one of her loved ones had drifted astray. As her beloved, I can attest to that! However, It was always administered in the spirit of evolving and learning—high level.
Agonizing at times, as defense structures broke apart, it always led to resolution, enhanced self-awareness, transformation, and ultimately deeper love. Because of this, our heated issue-discussions eventually got resolved and we never went to bed angry toward each other. This was important to her that we avoided doing that—not healthy to the relationship.
Divine Mother
She also was a divine mother to many, (although ironically she was in quest of the Divine Mother herself, having lost her mother to suicide at a tender age of two and a half, which is described in an autobiographical book—her first one, Soul Searching with Djwhal Khul, the Tibetan © 2002). When Moriah was present you felt safe, like everything was going to be all right. I think many of you out there know what I mean.
Adoration of Stepson
As a step mom of my son, Oliver, she was devoted to his well-being and cared for him and loved him deeply like he was her own—her “wolf cub” she would call him back in the early days. She assumed the role of a soul mom, always tuning into him, engaging him, and stimulating him to share his process. She was so proud of his development throughout the years, his goodness, intelligence, and recognized him as an old soul that has great promise, who could make a difference.
Gratitude
I would be remiss if I didn’t stress Moriah’s capacity for expressing gratitude. Appreciation was like a language she spoke, as she coupled it with her keen awareness of life bejeweled and enriched with offerings and opportunity.
Similarly, she never, ever took ANYTHING for granted or assumed anything about anybody. To her life was a blank canvas upon which the “gifts” would appear and she vocalized her awareness and gratitude for their valued presence. These attributes remain one of the most valuable demonstrations of ways to enrich my own life, and it encourages me to model it to others as well. This awareness has changed my life.
Laughter
Laughter was key to living, and served as a life lubricant and lightening agent in her life. We were always laughing at life’s absurdities and could appreciate the humor in all kinds of situations. I can still hear Moriah’s infectious laugher in response to something I said or as she interacted with a person or group. It made you feel good. “Don’t take life so seriously” was a daily mantra to which she adhered.
Magician
Moriah was a magician. Not only did she believe in magic, but lived it, worked it, applied the principles constantly. It was a natural part of her being. Now I’m not speaking about the sleight-of-hand magic trick. I’m talking working the Forces, and manipulating frequencies that operate far beyond the confines of third dimensional reality. She could intuit and access that realm.
Magic was always foreground for Moriah, as she put logic and the rational in their proper place. As a soul centered psychotherapist, people would comment how something magical happened in their sessions with her. The frequency of this increased over time. During our 3-day journeys together in the seminar intensives we gave at the School of the Golden Discs, magic was a given. During these soul explorations it was like we had boarded an inter-dimensional spaceship and returned a few days later—feeling very different, transformed at some deep inner level. It’s just the way it was.
Friendship
Close friendship was very important to Moriah. It went deep. She held her close friends sacred and was loyal and devoted fully to the relationship, if you met her there. Those friends became her soul family, finely selected through a soul resonance. Interestingly her totem animal was wolf, and wolfs stay loyal for life.
Introvert
Despite her more visible public presence, Moriah was actually a bit shy and guarded her privacy. I have many recollections of going into town running into people who I would naturally engage in conversation, being the social Libra that I was.
I could always sense her getting uncomfortable, and often she would slink around the corner to avoid contact. Catching her from the corner of my vision, I tried skillfully to wrap up the conversation to complete the task at hand, whatever we were doing. She was in a way, an introvert. A quality you wouldn’t expect of her.
Generosity of Spirit
Moriah had a generosity of spirit that flowed so naturally. There was no half stepping when it came to giving. On a financial level, she tipped well and paid the highest on the sliding scale, always honoring the other’s work. Or for someone’s birthday she would put much thought and love into a birthday gift and she modeled this to me—another teaching that helped refine my being.
Equal ground and honoring other’s ideas
In our relationship Moriah gave me so many gifts of attention, encouragement, inspiration. Conversely, she made sure to acknowledge me as her teacher as well, so it became a mutual exchange that enhanced over time. She made it very clear, we were on equal ground and we worked to keep it that way.
Another quality worthy of applause is Moriah’s honoring of other peoples ideas, contributions, and opinions. Regardless of her level of consciousness, however perceived, Moriah valued the other as an equal. You NEVER felt any kind of hierarchical trip going on, like she’s the wise one and you are the student like some of the gurus out there. She didn’t buy it. To her it was always an even playing field, horizontal rather than vertical. Your position was equally important.
I immediately registered this when we created the School’s curriculum together. It helped me overcome any sense of my own perceived inadequacy when she would rivet her attention, judgment free, to an idea I presented. If I sheepishly mumbled a thought, she would zero in, encourage further elucidation, and get excited, maybe rewording and refining what was expressed if necessary, until a mutual exchange and agreement was fostered between us.
The only cost of admission was being self-responsible to speak up and voice yourself. There was no hiding around Moriah.
Tai Chi, Inspiration & Encouragement
She loved tai chi and taught me the Tai Chi Yang style, the long form, which she learned 30 years ago in Ithaca, NY. At home and everywhere we traveled we would find a power spot to practice tai chi, which deepened our life experience together and enriched the memory of our travels.
The profound benefits I gained from learning this beautiful dance of life energy inspired me to pursue qigong and the internal qi (chi) art/sciences. This has changed me in ways I never imagined. I’m forever grateful for this gift she shared and inspired me to develop. In the springtime of the morning we began the day by practicing together as regularly as possible.
Dreams and the impassioned quest to know herself
Of primary importance was her relentless quest to know and understand herself, her soul, at the deepest level possible. She used her dreams as a gateway to gain direct access to the rich and fertile tapestry of the unconscious where all the uncensored soul material resides. She took full advantage of these “uncoveries”—gifts of awareness she called them. The more dark and shadowy these aspects of self appeared, the more excited she became—no judgment, just a fascination for another clue to the puzzle pieces of her soul which led to a more complete comprehension of her being.
Dream worker
Moriah was an amazing dream worker and just loved dreams. She could gain profound insight from just a mere fragment of a dream. For 25 years she kept a daily dream journal and religiously every week she would meet with her dear friend Nance, where they would analyze each other’s dreams. Then she returned home, excited to share it with me to gain additional insight and understanding.
Astrologer
Equally so, there was astrology. She was a truly gifted astrologer and from the onset of our marriage, it became like a second language in the household. Astrology, combined with her intuition, was a powerful tool used to decipher and map the soul’s learning format in this lifetime. Not only did it enable her to more deeply understand herself and work with the cosmic energies that were presiding at the time, it helped her to understand others as well. This was so important to her.
Invisibility & Master of Questions
Although Moriah made others feel seen, she craved to have others ask questions about her. Often times it was easy to forget to inquire because she was so masterful at asking about others and drawing them out.
She often felt invisible when this happened. It brought up childhood wounding; having grown up with a narcissistic stepmother who demanded full attention, and Moriah was the person to give it—constantly. One time after a heated discussion about why I didn’t bounce an inquiry back after hers, half joking she said to me, “Zaney, when I die, engrave on my tombstones, Ask Me Questions!”
As an aside, Moriah applied her skill of questioning to her soul work with clients. Through posing just the right questions at rapid clip in session, she could slip through the client’s defenses to access the juicy, unprocessed material that lies beneath the surface, similar to dreams. She would use the image of cracking a combination lock through her precise and deliberate questioning to reveal the gold of awareness and feeling within.
Empath & Intuitive
Moriah had a keen sense of empathy toward others and was able to intuit and name a feeling, an emotion, long before the recipient was even aware that they were feeling it. This made her a great therapist. She so honored the emotional body, which is what makes us human and different from other beings of the universe. In part, we’re here to learn about emotions. To identify, name, and feel the emotion, complete and total healing was possible. Awareness of the feeling is the first step.
Loving & Honoring the Parts of Self
Also, of great importance to her and a teaching to me, was to honor, nourish and love the many parts of her being, which strengthened, broadened and deepened her soul. She did it with steadfast conviction and gave them each a name.
Elektra: the writer
First there is wild mind Elektra, the writer, and what a writer she was. If she didn’t write for awhile she would get cranky—you wouldn’t want to be around her if she didn’t, so it was best to make room for it and make sure she had time to write. When she composed on her little Air Mac laptop, you could here a purring sound— the rapid pattering of fingers as she downloaded messages and insights from on- High and from her own soul and psychological savvy.
Elektra would disappear for 2 hours and produce the most beautiful manuscript, making her very happy (and me too!). She produced 3 extraordinary books and had another one on the way, along with countless articles rife with wisdom and insight that could alter the course of your own life if you allowed it. Many of these writings would become the basis of our school’s curriculum.
Jazzy, the piano player
The second one is Jazzy, short for Jasmine, which is the name for the piano player. Her father played piano, almost professionally, but did nothing to encourage her. She overcame his disinterest by taking lessons through out her life. I always loved it when she would practice at home—all kinds of music, Classical, Gershwin was a favorite, New Age, and one special to her—Carol King. We had a balanced division of labor, she would play, and I would cook a meal—good deal! I told her the music goes right into the food!
Rosey, the banjo player
The final, most recent self she honored was Rosey, the banjo player. Many years ago, back in the hippie days at the age of 23, Moriah took up banjo, loved it, but it didn’t last. She always had a hankering to return to playing which she did two years ago. We created a ritual by driving up to Putney, Vermont every Monday to study with a teacher.
She practiced with fervor and broke a lot of ground. I was very proud of her. We furthered the experience by tasting the bluegrass subculture, attending a number of bluegrass festivals during the summer months. She always fully embraced the experience and made sure to have fun doing it.
Lover of Mother Nature and Animals
Before closing, I mustn’t neglect mentioning her love of nature and animals, particularly dogs. From the onset of our marriage we’ve had dogs. She brought them into my life and for that I am so grateful.
Dogs have been essential in lightening the load of life, offering respite from the demands, evoking laughter, being held accountable to them through walks, no matter what the weather conditions or time of day, and simply the delicious act of burying the face into the luscious fur of a Belgian Sheepdog. Right now we have three. As Moriah said many times, “you just can’t get enough of them.”
Similarly, the presence of Mother Nature and access to her glory was essential to her well-being. Everyday, regardless of the weather conditions she would walk the dogs into the fields and forest, interacting with the trees, views, and stone outcroppings. This made her livelihood possible as nature’s majesty drained off the dross of life and excess mental energy that could accumulate, particularly doing her type of work.
Alchemist of Color
And finally, she loved to play with the color of her clothing and home surroundings. Moriah just loved color. She was like an alchemist of color, always playing with different combinations, always inventing something new and uplifting to the spirit. It always stimulated others to play with color too. It granted them permission to stretch the boundaries of what color combination is traditionally assumed “acceptable” or not.
I remember when we purchased our Arts & Crafts Bungalow in Shelburne Falls many years ago. It was pure brown, but not for long! The first project was painting it an overall lilac, using rich, royal purple and turquoise to highlight the fancy trim. We even painted the individual clapboards of the front porch skirt a difference color to create a rainbow effect.
Members of the Catholic church next door would stop their cars after mass and stare at the transformed dwelling as if were a spaceship that just landed. It brought smiles to their faces. Before long, surrounding neighbors began to paint there own trim and door entries new and different colors.
In Closing
So here it is, the anniversary dates of our marriage and a new moon – how auspicious. For the 24 years since Moriah entered my life we’ve only slept apart for two nights. We were melded together, like yin and yang, so the grief I have felt since her passing has been indescribable.
I thought the blow of her loss would kill me but I stand here today, filled with gratitude for receiving the gift of her loving presence for so many years, which more than rivals the ache I feel in my heart, hungering to embrace her beautiful, physical form and realizing she will no longer be that anymore—at least for now. Maybe down the road. Who knows? As the Tibetan cautions, be careful not to jump to false conclusions. You never know what awaits, particularly in these fast changing times.
On Moriah’s last day on the planet, that morning, I had laid my head on her shoulder, savoring each faint breath she took and breathing in her familiar scent. I suddenly had a strange visit from the sandman. I couldn’t fight it and fell asleep. Ten minutes later she had passed.
According to our friend Anjee, who was sitting right next to her, vigilantly holding space for the inevitable transition, tears fell from Moriah’s eyes and then she passed. My beloved may have cast a sleeping spell upon me so she could leave her body. OR did my soul-self escort her to the Great Beyond and then returned to body? Perhaps both.
Enlightenment
I believed she reached enlightenment during the last stage of her life. This was the primary goal in her life—to fully awaken. The strong spiritual energy that emanated from her fading life form thickened the air in the great room where she lay; often smiling despite the intense pain she was in.
Shortly after Moriah’s transition, I hungered for a greater perspective. I wanted desperately to know how she is doing out there in the Great Beyond. What is she up to? Did she truly awaken before “lift off”? So I was graced with a reading from Daniel Neusom, a pastor of the Sacred Light Fellowship in Time Square who happens to be an amazing channel for the Holy Spirit.
I would like to share with you some excerpts from this life changing reading:
Moriah" How is she?
Daniel is perceiving her in her true and real power and glory. Her transition and transformation is complete. She has already begun to teach in the new realm she is in, and has begun the work of helping to train and prepare souls who will be coming to the Earth in the near future for the incarnations they are preparing.
The souls she is working with are coming to end of their need to come to earth and she is helping them to let go and release and open to new frequencies that they are to bring to the earth to their respective lives.
As you hear this description of her work, you will see that it is very similar to what she did when she was in body. Her transition was a great joy and release and relief for her. She remained on earth of course for her own process, but also so that her departure would not be so jarring or traumatic for you and others in the community. There was a time of preparation for this, giving you each an opportunity to process the experience in your own way.
The bottom line teaching here is that life is eternal. There is no death. Now this is something that you know of course, but it has been meant to come into your emotional bodies and your heart and your inner experience.
She is wanting you to know how deeply she loves and cherishes you and that she truly did not leave you. She is inter-dimensional. And there are times when she will be quite focused with you and your life and work on earth. She is encouraging you to release the energy and consciousness of regret. Allow the Light, the Rays of God, to cleanse that from the mind.
She is joined with the Tibetan. The exact words she is saying is that they are a team and there is a collective joined together in one accord. And that it was in Divine Order for her to be in the body on earth and to serve as a channel for him. And now they are working in another dimension—as you know it—the Inner Ashram.
It is a realm that serves as a conduit between even higher realms and the earth. There is study, there is play, there is creativity, there is communion, there is joy, and there is a ministry of light of frequency to channeling the cosmic rays into other realms including but not limited to the earth to lift us all higher and higher. (For further elucidation, see chapter 28 in her last book, Making the Shift: A Field Guide to the Emerging Consciousness, Volume 1, --ed).
Plans to continue the Work?
Yes, they will be communicating through those who have openness to receive, and that certainly includes you. They are encouraging those who wish to participate, as part of a spiritual practice ask, what is the guidance for us?
What is the guidance for the school? There will be individuals who will clearly receive the help and guidance we will send. They are saying to disperse the teachings, make them available. Continue to work with the principles. Hold new classes and workshops that utilize what has been given, but more will be coming in a fresh way through those of you who are open. Do not worry; use this as part of your own enlightenment and opening your own inner channels.
Does Moriah and the Tibetan have any specific words for Zayne as partner in the School and in relationship?
She is saying to you, expressing to you, that she cherishes you beyond words. That she meant what she said and more; the expressions of love, and commitment. She is saying that you have done great work together and that you were as important to her journey and her development as you feel and believe she was in yours.
She wants you to hold that in your heart and she is conveying that words are inadequate when it comes to Love. Love really cannot be expressed with words. She is saying that great enlightenment awaits if you will open to it.
And she is saying that we are giving you the means to open to it according to what has been given at the beginning of this session, (referring to the initial part of the reading which was personal to Zayne--ed), and more will come. And there is gratitude. She is expressing gratitude that cannot be expressed with words—it is beyond words.
She is literally holding you now. Her light, essence envelops you and she is asking you to feel your oneness, and we will continue. She wants you to know that what we call through this channel, grace. Grace will cause you to be able to let go in the ways you need to let go in order to be happy and to fulfill what you have yet to fulfill on earth. Grace is a way that your human mind cannot understand orcomprehend. It will shift you in such a way that you will be able to let go in time.
Did Moriah reach enlightenment in this process? She mentioned she could see the big picture but there was one last piece needing resolution?
Yes, she received counseling and a therapeutic process from our realm, from our dimension. This was occurring while her body was still alive, while she was still in human consciousness. She was on earth but yet also in our dimension. You experienced her but during that time she was working with us, on this part of herself that we are discussing, and we will say that all is well. It is resolved. She completed her awakening.
Is there anything that the Tibetan wishes to say to Zayne? He misses him dearly…anything about connecting with him,continuing a relationship with him? He is very important to Zayne as a teacher.
He wants you to know that you will receive his direct messages and guidance and love through your own channel. He wants you to know that you are missing the way to experience him through Moriah, but you will open to your own internal experience of him.
He wants you to know that he has access to you, you have access to him, and it is just a matter of certain layers of consciousness within you being made more malleable to open. And that will occur as you practice in the way you are being guided, with your own process of your own consciousness and energy. Ask and you will always receive.
Do not fear feeling the intensity of your own emotion. This is how you will break through.
Is there anything else that Moriah needs to say to us about the passing before we close?
She is saying that she cherishes each of you and she is holding each of you, although you don’t fully understand it now.
This experience is so important for all of us and it is a blessing. You haven't experienced it yet but in time you will. She is saying that you are meant to grow strong and independent and enlightened in your own beings. And she is encouraging you to use the experience of her "death" for that purpose. She feels the love you have toward her and is so, so grateful and sends her love to each of you. Be wrapped in it now.
Give the Holy Spirit your mind and heart and you will be healed and you will be lifted.